No mercy

"You drink to forget, you drink to keep on living and escape. But you're falling down, you're trapped in a dark hole, the more alcohol you drink the more you need it to find your relief, and then you realise that it doesn't really exist. You'll take some drugs, you'll try to feel alive and have some nasty experiences, you don't think about the consequences. You feel so alone and so empty, that you just want to finish with everything... But tomorrow it will be a new day, and you'll smile because nothing happens. You might say "I'm fine, thanks", because nobody knows, because you don't care, and then this starts again and again.

In the pub you have one beer, you have two, then the third one... You cannot keep on counting them anymore, you're starting feeling confused. You cannot hear the music clearly, and everything around you is disappearing... Except your fourth, or fifth beer maybe, you don't know, you don't care... but who the fuck cares.
You have never enough of anything, you don't even realise how fast time goes by. You just stare at your beer glass hoping that it's gonna save you, until you loose your consciousness. That's why you come here.

But occasionally you go outside and while you're breathing deeply the cold air of the night you close your eyes. There're so many things in your head, so many thoughts on your mind. You know something is wrong, maybe this place, maybe everything, even you. You have never felt as if you were part of anything, you have never found your place, home. There's something inside of you that says that it must be somewhere, and maybe some day... But again you don't wanna fool yourself. No, you say, nothing will change, no matter who you know, no matter where you are, no matter what you do.

Life has no mercy."

S. Hexentanz